Sunday, July 27, 2008
can someone tell me wads de freaking problem with me.
i have been so freaking sot these days.
i juz dun feel like studying.
oso dun feel like playing.
i dun feel like doing anyting.
and den i will feel freaking bored.
i din talk to anyone today
other den my parents.
and even talking to my parents i sounded..
frustrated? irritated?
they hao xin call back ask wad i wan eat.
and i became annoyed and answered back "bu dong lahh, shui bian lahhs"
i seem like..
like..
i dunno..
some freak who goes to a corner by herself?
with noone around to help her?
izzit cuz i find it hard to trust ppl ard me?
i dunno..
i really dunno..
wo zhen de bu dong.
wad de hell is wrong with me.
ever since i went secondary sch
i found out tat it was hard to keep my tears.
i was able to hold back no matter wad happened in pri sch.
but now.
its very hard to hold back my tears.
over a small little ting i oso can start crying. like i siao liaos.
how i wish im still a pri sch kid.
nowadays i always tink
wad if i have no asthma.
wad if i can exercise for all i wan
wad if i dun have cough since young
wad if i can control and keep running
wad if..
wad if..
wad has gone into me?
why am i liddat?
why do i find it so hard to trust my frens?
even de closest frens with me?
was it cuz of de pri 1 incident?
when my best fren did tat to me?
but it was only... a pen..
it was only a small case..
and it had such a big impact on me?
or was it cuz when i finally tot i cud trust my frens
when my best fren in sec 1 was so good to me
and she turned into liddat now?
such tat it was so hard for me to talk to her?
we din even say a hi to each other.
i suddenly felt tat it was even harder to trust de ppl ard me.
although i noe.
hai shi you hen duo ren dui wo hao.
but..
i really dunnno..
wo zhen de bu zhi dao wo dao di ying gai zhen me zuo.
mayb tats de reason why i turned to find more and more online frens.
i dunno de answer myself...
and i dun understand myself too.
i have been getting very tired of my studies
my gaming.
and wadever.
izzit cuz
now weekends i cant sleep more den 9hours.?
once it reaches 9hours i cant sleep anymore.
and i have been falling asleep while watching tv halfway.
cant i juz be back normal like who i used to be?
i dun feel like myself anymore.
im currently a girl who only noes how to stare in de air.
im currently a girl who only noes how to slack
who only noes how to do badly in exams.
who doesnt noe who she is.
not de one who was happy-go-lucky.
not de one who had always done well in her work.
not de one who always score As in exams.
wad have i become?
wad have i become..?
when will i be fine again?
when..?
nvmm..
juz ignore me.
ignore this post.
treat it as u have never seen such a ting.
i'll be fine alone.
i hope.
нØSYx3.™ miss you lots @ 8:31 PM