Wednesday, August 16, 2006
wellz wellz. i have chosen another cute skin!! wahhaz. FINALLY CAN GET RID OF TAT SHOE BLOG =.= cute bah?? wahhaz. I SOOO HAPPYaye. hahaz.
another dae of sku~ guess wad. I skipped DnT club. SHHHHHH~~~
shhh. kaes? SHH
hais~ after the nice asthma attack at the 2.4 run... WHICH I DIN COMPLETE. this sat muz go for retake =.= I DUN WANNA GO! i rather FAIL THE WHOLE TING. gimme long term MC. lemme fall sick on tat day. I JUZ DUN WANNA GO. look. its not tat i dun wan. IS I CANT. nvm. u all dun understand. u all arent me. u wudnt noe wad the situation is. u wudnt noe how i fail. IM NOT EMBARRESSED TO SAY I FAILED NAPHA EVERY YEAR. IM NOT EMBARRESSED TO SAY I CANT JUMP IM NOT EMBARRESSED TO SAY I CANT RUN IM NOT EMBARRESSED ABOUT THIS WHOLE TING. cuz no1 noes wad my situation is like. 1F doesnt have asthma other den me. u dunno how i feel. i failed every year although many times not becuz of my run. its becuz of incline. i cant do. and tha jump. i admit im veh lan at this. SUPER VEH LAN. but i juz cant jump. wad else can i ask for? my jump was 105cm. when i 1st tried. i cud clearly hear donovan saying "waseii 100 only ehs." i wasnt sad i wasnt scared i wasnt embarressed. all i tot was "wow. i improved by 10 cm =)" cuz i jumped only 90cm last year.i am veh happy with my results. =) i improved by 15cm! =) but still, i failed.
nobody noes how i felt. u might be tinking " woa. her physical training is SOO lan." "woa she cant run cant jump wad can she do?" I DUN CARE. and i dun mind. cuz u are not me. if were u, i sure be tinking liddat. i dun mind. i dun care. cuz u din go thru wad i went thru. if u were to have asthma attack halfway during de run? wud u be able to complete? never. have to retest. but u might be tinking. attack only mahz. wadsup? but i dun. every year wud be of the same. i wud be dizzy. ears blocked. eyes blurr. u tink i can see my way? u tink i can breathe properly? u tink i can run more? yes. i AM crying right in front of the screen now. but not becuz wad u tink or wad u said or how ppl pity me. i pity myself. im crying cuz i cant get rid of asthma. dun u tink i wanna be like all of u running soo fast and soo healthy? i suffered. AND I DUN WAN TO CONTINUE SUFFERING. i dun. i really dun. the doc oreadi said b4 i cant do tai ji lie de xcercise. i still did. 2.4 and 1.6 is enuf. i cant continue animore. I DUN WAN. i dun wan ppl to pity me. if u are pitying den GET LOST. I DUN WAN PPL PITYING ME CUZ I HAVE ASTHMA. TRUE FRENZ WUN PITY. I DUN WAN FRENZ HU PITY ME. GET LOST.
i can still rmb. 1.6 i wud alwaes run and walk. i controll not to give up i controll not to asthma attk. but i knew i cudnt. when i control and let it out after de run, the asthma only goes WORST. i can be walking up the stairs down the stairs. walking to staff room ANYWHERE. i hate it. i tried hard. im not blaming myself. im not blaming asthma. im not blaming anyting. sihui is alwaes by my side when i have asthma. i alwaes rmb.. but now we are of different classes. she cant look out for me like she alwaes do. i really wonder hu can take over her ='(
LEMME FAIL FOR MY YEARS AND YEARS AHEAD. I DUN CARE AT ALL. LOOK DOWN ON ME FOR ALL U WAN. I DUN CARE! I JUZ DUN WANNA CONTINUE SUFFERING. I DUN!! HU UNDERSTANDS ME? MY TOTS AND MY FEELINGS? HU UNDERSTANDS??
another dae of sku~ guess wad. I skipped DnT club. SHHHHHH~~~
shhh. kaes? SHH
hais~ after the nice asthma attack at the 2.4 run... WHICH I DIN COMPLETE. this sat muz go for retake =.= I DUN WANNA GO! i rather FAIL THE WHOLE TING. gimme long term MC. lemme fall sick on tat day. I JUZ DUN WANNA GO. look. its not tat i dun wan. IS I CANT. nvm. u all dun understand. u all arent me. u wudnt noe wad the situation is. u wudnt noe how i fail. IM NOT EMBARRESSED TO SAY I FAILED NAPHA EVERY YEAR. IM NOT EMBARRESSED TO SAY I CANT JUMP IM NOT EMBARRESSED TO SAY I CANT RUN IM NOT EMBARRESSED ABOUT THIS WHOLE TING. cuz no1 noes wad my situation is like. 1F doesnt have asthma other den me. u dunno how i feel. i failed every year although many times not becuz of my run. its becuz of incline. i cant do. and tha jump. i admit im veh lan at this. SUPER VEH LAN. but i juz cant jump. wad else can i ask for? my jump was 105cm. when i 1st tried. i cud clearly hear donovan saying "waseii 100 only ehs." i wasnt sad i wasnt scared i wasnt embarressed. all i tot was "wow. i improved by 10 cm =)" cuz i jumped only 90cm last year.i am veh happy with my results. =) i improved by 15cm! =) but still, i failed.
nobody noes how i felt. u might be tinking " woa. her physical training is SOO lan." "woa she cant run cant jump wad can she do?" I DUN CARE. and i dun mind. cuz u are not me. if were u, i sure be tinking liddat. i dun mind. i dun care. cuz u din go thru wad i went thru. if u were to have asthma attack halfway during de run? wud u be able to complete? never. have to retest. but u might be tinking. attack only mahz. wadsup? but i dun. every year wud be of the same. i wud be dizzy. ears blocked. eyes blurr. u tink i can see my way? u tink i can breathe properly? u tink i can run more? yes. i AM crying right in front of the screen now. but not becuz wad u tink or wad u said or how ppl pity me. i pity myself. im crying cuz i cant get rid of asthma. dun u tink i wanna be like all of u running soo fast and soo healthy? i suffered. AND I DUN WAN TO CONTINUE SUFFERING. i dun. i really dun. the doc oreadi said b4 i cant do tai ji lie de xcercise. i still did. 2.4 and 1.6 is enuf. i cant continue animore. I DUN WAN. i dun wan ppl to pity me. if u are pitying den GET LOST. I DUN WAN PPL PITYING ME CUZ I HAVE ASTHMA. TRUE FRENZ WUN PITY. I DUN WAN FRENZ HU PITY ME. GET LOST.
i can still rmb. 1.6 i wud alwaes run and walk. i controll not to give up i controll not to asthma attk. but i knew i cudnt. when i control and let it out after de run, the asthma only goes WORST. i can be walking up the stairs down the stairs. walking to staff room ANYWHERE. i hate it. i tried hard. im not blaming myself. im not blaming asthma. im not blaming anyting. sihui is alwaes by my side when i have asthma. i alwaes rmb.. but now we are of different classes. she cant look out for me like she alwaes do. i really wonder hu can take over her ='(
LEMME FAIL FOR MY YEARS AND YEARS AHEAD. I DUN CARE AT ALL. LOOK DOWN ON ME FOR ALL U WAN. I DUN CARE! I JUZ DUN WANNA CONTINUE SUFFERING. I DUN!! HU UNDERSTANDS ME? MY TOTS AND MY FEELINGS? HU UNDERSTANDS??
нØSYx3.™ miss you lots @ 5:49 PM